Bush arrested in Ottawa
pkj, 27.11.2004 11:45
Canadian authorities have arrested US President George W. Bush and charged him with offences under Canada's War Crimes Act.
The first photo released since the arrest of US President Bush
Breaking News......
Canadian authorities have arrested US president George W. Bush in Ottawa.
(30 November 2004 OTTAWA –PKJ)
Canadian authorities have arrested US president George W. Bush in Ottawa.
He has been charged with several offences under Canada's War Crimes Act.
Vice-President Dick Cheney has mobilized the American military and all border crossings between the two nations have closed.
Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin has urged for calm in a short radio and television broadcast to the Canadian people immediately after the arrest.
Part of the Prime Minister’s broadcast is included here:
“This decision was not made lightly. But, it was also a decision that was impossible not to make. The United States is not outside the rule of law, and cannot expect to get an unlimited “free pass”. This decision puts a grave strain upon both our nations, and I urge calm and restraint from our American neighbours, as well as from Canadians. I have met with the cabinet, and with our colleagues in the House. This is a time of great crisis for us as a nation. But as people, we will survive this test. Earlier I enacted the Emergency War Powers Act. This is necessary to guarantee our domestic security. This is not a time for panic, for lawlessness, for anything other than a responsible and sobre focus on what lies immediately ahead.”
Prime Minister Martin also said, “President Bush has been arrested under the Canadian War Crimes Act and the charges against him are being processed. He is being treated in accordance with the Geneva Convention and he will be treated fairly.”
Reports from the White House say there is absolute chaos as frantic phone calls and meetings are held to deal with this crisis.
Speculations on the American response run the spectrum from one analyst’s prediction of an all out American invasion of Canada to a more restrained pin-point rescue mission of the President. Whatever course of action is decided upon all experts are in agreement that the war in Iraq has so weakened the American military that it could be some days before the United States is ready to field a large scale military response.
Meanwhile, in New York, the Secretary General of the United Nations Kofi Anan has urged for calm, and British Prime Minister Tony Blair has been in almost constant contact with NATO leaders and President Putin of Russia.
A Britney Spears concert which had been scheduled to occur this evening in Ottawa has been postponed. A spokesman for the entertainer said that Ms. Spears was concerned for the President's wife and two daughters. The spokesman also said that Ms. Spears would be praying for the president.
President Bush had been due to attend an Ottawa luncheon when the arrest occurred. Witnesses at the scene said that utter havoc erupted as the arrest was carried out.
Earlier in the day things seemed to be going smoothly on this first visit to Canada by President Bush. The President’s private jet, Air Force One had landed at the Ottawa International airport amidst intense security. Only a few protestors were on hand at the airport to welcome the President.
Authorities had been expecting moderately sized protests in downtown Ottawa, but the fine weather and unseasonably warm temperature brought an estimated three hundred thousand demonstrators out on to the streets.
From the airport the President’s motorcade drove directly to the Ottawa Convention Centre.
The moment that President Bush stepped from his limousine a group of RCMP officers, who had been standing guard, grabbed the President and proceeded to place him under arrest. A gunfight broke out with the President’s secret service bodyguard. In the short exchange of gunfire two bystanders were killed and another three slightly wounded by flying debris. The RCMP were able to quickly subdue the American agents, and they have been detained in a separate facility. Separate fire arms related charges are pending.
According to Canadian Justice Department officials the President faces a lengthy list of offences.
Canada’s War Crimes Act was designed to hold foreigners accountable for their complicity or involvement in a vast array of war crimes.
George Bush is being charged not only as the civilian head of government of the United States, but also as the commander in chief of the United States Armed Forces. This position could bring with it even more serious consequences, but he will not face the death penalty.
Under both Canadian and International War Crimes law George Bush is being charged with genocide, torture, murder, and the most strong of all war crimes, the crime of war of aggression.
The United Nations position on the illegality of the Iraq invasion has been known for sometime, but sceptics believed that the UN would fail to be able to bring America to account.
(photo caption)
A New Attitude
The first photograph to be released since the arrest of the American President in Ottawa earlier. In the traditional orange prison overalls and shackles, Mr Bush seems to be glowering with anger. His name and intake identity number appear on the front of the jumpsuit.
e-mail:: pkj@(nospam)pkj.ca
Homepage:: http://www.pkj.ca
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let's keep our hopes up! 28.11.2004 - 05:59 Would be great if it were true... x> um what the hell are you guys doing 29.11.2004 - 15:25 um what the hell are you guys doing gleep> What are you doing? 29.11.2004 - 15:29 I'd love to know what you think you're doing? IndyMedia is supposed to be a credible news source and this kind of article doesn't do it very good! Josh Powell> Homepage:: http://www.independentoutlook.com
Don't be so serious1 29.11.2004 - 16:04 Come on guys, you making these "What the hell are you doing" comments. Have a sense of humor. If anyone takes this article seriously, they don't really have a good grasp on reality so who cares what they think of indymedia? len probert> the problem 29.11.2004 - 18:52 the only problem with this is that he WON'T face the death penalty. Now THAT would be good news! rh> the problem 29.11.2004 - 18:52 the only problem with this is that he WON'T face the death penalty. Now THAT would be good news! rh> Re: Don't be so serious 29.11.2004 - 18:53 IndyMedia is supposed to be a credible news source, not a repository for "prank articles". Metafilter or Fark would be much more suitable for those. Josh Powell> Well Written... 29.11.2004 - 20:03 ...For a seventh grader. As far as political/current events humor goes, this is one step above a badly executed fart joke. I'm all for poking fun at my country, but at least make it funny and/or well thought out. --"C" "Canadians...they're like Americans, only harmless!" Cary> Not Commander-in-Chief 29.11.2004 - 23:23 You mean Cocainer-in-Chief -- don't you? Mentifex> Cruel 30.11.2004 - 16:43 This is just cruel; when I saw the article title my heart leapt with joy...what a tragedy to realize it's just a mean hoax. roquinn> Wish I may, wish I might! 30.11.2004 - 17:31 I knew you Canadians had backbone, but to rescue us from El Marioneto - you're the best! Looking forward to having our best & brightest come home for the holidays, and you (all of Canada) are invited! Columbine> e-mail:: i<3canadianboyz@sunspotdesigns.com
Homepage:: http://www.sunspotdesigns.com
For Shame! 30.11.2004 - 18:03 Shame, Shame, Shame on you! You are supposed to be a reliable news source. This juvenile humor has no place is a news publication. For shame! Kathy B> maybe real 30.11.2004 - 18:52 I seen this on the front page of google news, I think it might be real. chaz> Oh Canaduh 30.11.2004 - 20:08 Canada would be a beautiful country if it wasn't for all the dumb canuckleheads living there. Arty> WTF are you talking about 30.11.2004 - 21:47 What the fuck is this agnes> you know what this is 30.11.2004 - 21:48 the people are arresting bush agnes> Oh, yeah, a <i>serious</i> news source 01.12.2004 - 16:49 Funny enough, and the Photoshopping's pretty well done. Everyone complaining that this belongs on Fark or some parody site--it is Indymedia, you realize. Is there any reason in particular to take it seriously? Neuroto> Bush arrested in Canada tops GOOGLE 02.12.2004 - 02:04 
THIS IS FROM THE RIGHT-WING "WALL STREET JOURNAL" DEC 1 2004  http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/ Bush Arrested? Google News is a great site, offering an extremely useful search function that finds news stories published on the Internet within the past 30 days. The other delightful thing about it is its automatically generated homepage headlines. If you want to know what the top stories are, you're better off going to a news site that has an actual human editor (at this point we'd be remiss if we didn't plug The Wall Street Journal Online), but some of the stuff that makes its way through Google's algorithms can be a source of high hilarity. Example: A left-wing site called Axis of Logic published a satirical (though unfunny) article yesterday titled "Canadians Authorities Arrest U.S. President Bush on War Charges," and it ended up as Google's top story. Seriously. If you don't believe us, click here. (To see the GOOGLE image: http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/12104google.jpg) wiffle bat> :o CNN makin pranks?!? lolol 02.12.2004 - 17:27 http://www.world-cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/11/30/bush.arrest/index.html
Stashiv> Stealth satire 03.12.2004 - 10:22 If there were just a little disclaimer that said "political satire," some people would not be getting upset. But check out what some other people did with CNN: http://www.world-cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/11/30/bush.arrest/ Now, you can complain that this is deceitful, but it is getting attention and we do figure out that it is satire, unlike official bogus news about WMDs, Saddam/9-11 connection, phony Iraq-Niger uranium deals, and the like that took America to war to kill more than 100,000 people. How come the sources of those lies haven't been held accountable?!! Ynot> FUCK CANADA 04.12.2004 - 10:30 hahahahaha I knew from the second I read this, that it was a hoax. First off there is no way that canada (spelt on purpose with a lower case ‘c’), with its pea sized balls (and similar size brain) would have the guts to try and pull this off. That shit stain of a country would be trampled, not with uniformed military but with outraged patriot citizens. Not that Canadians would know anything about national pride, considering a good 80% of the Canadians I went to grad school with didn’t even know who their prime minister was. Also, how much more hopeful can you pathetic liberals get “A gun fight broke out with the President’s bodyguards…..The RCMP were able to quickly subdue the American agents…” HA, the chances of that; Even if you had your whole army of, what is it now, 3 soldiers? If that what you call them, the chances of your ball less, horse riding law enforces getting between the secret service and our president is slim to none. So with this I beg you canada, PLEASE, PLEASE act out your dreams……. I could use a bigger back yard. THE PATRIOT> FUCK CANADA 04.12.2004 - 10:34 2 quick edits.... 1: there should be a comma after "but" 2: enforces should be enforcers My apologies THE PATRIOT> fuck canada right in the ass 04.12.2004 - 11:28 Besides the humor over whether or not the RCMP really could take out the best trained body guards in the world (the Secret Service), I find this article to show the true brains behind our next door neighbor. Why do you think nothing has ever happened to canada? Because you've got the biggest most bad ass mother fucking country sitting right below you. And why are we the best? Because our military can take on the world and still prevail. We should let someone come in and level your pathetic pot smoking hippie citizens so we can expand The Union farther north. God that'd be awesome. And rest assured I'll be front line with all my guns in tote, waxing each and everyone one of your pathetic fucks. It's like taking candy from a baby; too easy!! the patriot 2> Bush Arrested in Canada 04.12.2004 - 16:51 Thanks you for this article! It sure made my day! Just wish this dream would come true.... Jacqueline Aubry> e-mail:: wradmom@myway.com
wait... 04.12.2004 - 18:28 why is this article on the main page of world-cnn.com if it's bullshit? they certainly put a lot of effort into the details of the charges against W. hemmrhoids> Silly 'Patriots' 04.12.2004 - 20:02 Alright, this is to that 'Patriot 2' guy.. Sure. You've got a big country.. Guess what? Big target. Your US Army has one thing going for it, that's Size. Nothing else, no, not training, not weaponry. M-16's Jam alot, almost as much as SA-80 British rifles. Christ, the British get better training than the US army and they're a much smaller force. Missiles? Shit, Missile's can't do alot unless they're SRM's anymore, because of Air defense systems, Air-To-Air combat is pointless, and Sea combat is a joke. Oh, and if America decides to 'Invade' anyone? Guess what! The world turns on them and fucks them sideways up the ass. Get over yourself you egotistical maniac. The good ol' U S of A doesn't stand a chance if it took on the rest of the world, hell, America's worried about Korea and China. Why? Cause they got MORE TROOPS. They'd take on America and win simply by throwing more troops than America can handle at them at the one time, and it'd be over pretty quickly. So don't decide to brag about your 'invincible' country.. Because it isn't. James> A short letter to my pal, "The Patriot" 04.12.2004 - 23:23 Those were pretty strong words you were spouting, dumbass. Hey, I have no problem with Americans. In fact, I'm an American with a dual-citizenship and proud of it. No, my problem only lies with idiots like you. Pea-sized balls? I fucked your mom, asshole. Besides, it takes no balls to press a button and kill a bunch of people miles away. You know what takes guts? The jerks who suicide bomb have balls. The poor, stupid Iraqis who are fighting an infinitely superior American army have balls. The bastards who took down the WTC buildings by flying planes into them had balls. They're assholes ... but they had balls. You think it takes balls to shoot someone? Not half as much balls as it does to stab someone, and not a millionth the balls to beat them in a fair fight with a coule of the few truly ballsy weapon - your own fists. Pea-sized brain? Not as pea-sized as yours, considering your grad school admits shitheads. If 80% of them didn't know who their Prime Minister is, that either means you went to a butt-fuck nowhere college for dipshits, or you're a liar, or you've got your head shoved up your ass. I'd guess it's probably a combination of the three. Come up to Canada so I can beat the crap out of you. Joe "I fucked your mom .. repeatedly" Raymond> Another letter ... to my pal, "Patriot 2" 04.12.2004 - 23:37 Scenario I: ----------- Saddam: "We have no weapons." UN: "We have not yet found WMD in Iraq." Bush administration: "They have oi- *cough* er, weapons! ... Attack!" Scenario II: ------------ Kim Jong Il (North Korea): "We have nuclear weapons. We will kill the West." Bush administration: "Retreat! Uhhhh, I mean advance ... in the opposite direction!" If you really have the 'baddest motherfucking army', then let's see you invade other "rogue states" like North Korea. Bush went to so much trouble to try and prove that Iraq had weapons, when other wacko countries were pretty much jumping in the air, waving their hands and saying "Pick me! Oh, pick me!". But, having no balls, Bush decides to invade Iraq who, not so coincidentially, have no tactical nukes. And people say he has balls? He's sitting at home, completely safe and laughing at the poor dying kids enlisted in the American army. You're a shithead. Rot in hell. Joe "I fucked your mom .. repeatedly" Raymond> Strong words there, fuckass 05.12.2004 - 01:07 In regards to the pea sized brain, Canada is known for it's high reputation and peace keeping. I've been on a military base (PPCLI - 2 years, Air base - 15 years) for 17 years, and im joining up in Feb...I'll be 18. With this said, I'll be looking forward to keeping peace In the Canadian Rangers or the PPCLI. Though, like buddy up there said...Buttons...If it came down to it, i think my 12 year old cousin could kill a small nation or two. It takes away the human emotion called compasion. To kill, you look in that persons eyes, then you shoot, or stab. THAT takes some guts. Buttons? I kill people in Counter-strike with buttons. Which is exactly what's going to go down with Bush. Another comment of small brains. Clinton made you guys over 550 billion...Bush, went to war and losy over 750 billion. And with my education, I know that war makes money. Always has, always will. Because war means industry, jobs, material ect. How can you manage to loose that much in war? I can safely say, next Washington plate I see on my island (Yeah, I live on Vancouver Island British Columbia) I will give a swift finger, and if parked I think i wall probably take a fat piss on the vehicle. At anyrate, I'de like to see the staes plow through our defence, using only conventional war. (no nukes, bio or chemical wepons aloud for the dipshits out there) as we have airbases everywere, the P3-140 Aurora will be patroling our waters for subs (Evidently, I work on that aircraft) Canadian rangers, PPCLI, RSR and all our reserves parked in the mountains. And might I add, have you heard that Canadian defences are the most effective? At anyrate, I'm not into arguing, because if we were invaded...I'll see you from three kilometers away in the sight of my 7.62 C8 rifle's x11 optical scope, you fatass mother fucker. The Canadian> THE POOR CANADIAN 05.12.2004 - 08:23 Well, "The Canadian" I think its funny that you think that your country is the only place with sniper rifles. Your maturity is reflected greatly by your age. Unfortunately we all KNOW that Canada wouldn't stand a chance against the US, its as simple as that. The reality of it is that I have a hatred for people like you, not all canadians, just people like you. The ones who think every American is George Bush. See I live on the boarder of your country and have to deal with people frowning down upon me just because I am American. And the reason I have the hatred for your type is because exactly what you said about the next US plate you see you are going to piss on their car. Thats real cool, because he is probably spending money in your country, is probably against Bush, and Obviously doesnt have any problems with you. Oh and I live right near Cornwall Canada, if you want to set up a time and place I would LOVE to settle this in person. THE PATRIOT> Bush arrested in Ottawa 05.12.2004 - 22:38 Whether or not this incident, the arrest of President Bush, actually took place or not (it is doubtful that it did), the fact that it was published in the news sources that it was is an indicator that there is "more afoot than meets the eyes". I would like to suggest that this "news" being published together with a request for comments on the article gives us a clue. I think that perhaps this is a method of ascertaining the public sentiment on the topic, possibly as a prelude to actually carrying out some sort of legal action - not necessarily done by the Canadians - if there was enough strongly expressed support for that action. Therefore, I suggest that those who would LIKE to see something done about the war crimes post supportive statements of legal action against ALL those responsible, including especially those at the top of the chain of command. Autumn Drake> THE PATRIOT> 06.12.2004 - 11:06 patriot ,your a fuktard and what is wrong with our country,,,,who the hell is gonna stampede over canada you and your wife(who also doubles as your sister)fuck you, you retard you speak for ZERO americans i do have my pride,so dont even start anti-american, dont like it leave shit because its your type of assclowns, that make our great U.S.OF A so dissapointing,at times usa # 1> THE PATRIOT> 06.12.2004 - 11:06 patriot ,your a fuktard and what is wrong with our country,,,,who the hell is gonna stampede over canada you and your wife(who also doubles as your sister)fuck you, you retard you speak for ZERO americans i do have my pride,so dont even start anti-american, dont like it leave shit because its your type of assclowns, that make our great U.S.OF A so dissapointing usa # 1> Canada VS. The United States 06.12.2004 - 13:54 Well it just goes to show you that most U.S. citizens don't even know the name of their country. We are the United States of America as a nation, America is a continent. I can't believe that people on this blog are fighting about who would kick who's ass. Our greatest patriots; those who founded this nation on progressive principals would be so ashamed of our nations decent into ignorance and rhetoric. We fought the English to escape those oppressive aristrocratic laws and ideas that this nation is now embracing. Our military cannot save us from ourselves. Read the Constitution of the United States of America for yourself. Read the Bill of Rights too. Adam> silly stupid Canadian 06.12.2004 - 13:54 Thank you Patriot for stating what is a clear fact! Canada sucks, and nobody in their right mind gives a flying fuck about them or what the hell they think about us and the way we handle our business down here. They better just hope that I never become president, because I sure as hell would close the damn border. Canadians are nothing but ungrateful bastards that is a shit stain on the world. We should have taken y'all over a long ass time ago, but we're nice enough to let you keep on playing hockey, drinking beer, and THINKING that we care about your input about the things we do! Brittany> silly stupid Canadian 06.12.2004 - 13:54 Thank you Patriot for stating what is a clear fact! Canada sucks, and nobody in their right mind gives a flying fuck about them or what the hell they think about us and the way we handle our business down here. They better just hope that I never become president, because I sure as hell would close the damn border. Canadians are nothing but ungrateful bastards that is a shit stain on the world. We should have taken y'all over a long ass time ago, but we're nice enough to let you keep on playing hockey, drinking beer, and THINKING that we care about your input about the things we do! Brittany> anti-canadianism rocks 03.02.2005 - 21:54 Its funny, though Canada couldn’t hold him if we did, and it wouldn’t be worth it, U.S attack Canada; sure, you’d win, would you be able to hold it? I doubt that, your not as widely loved, as you would think. Anti Americanism in Canada, how bout anti Canadianism in America? Oh, but we don’t matter because our blood isn't red white and blue... but I shouldn’t say that, as what 2 people say on the internet doesn’t represent the whole country, although, you probably haven’t figured that out yet, eh? another spineless canadian> FUCK THE USA 31.08.2005 - 14:54 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-America Everybody hates Amerikkka. Here are some of the reasons why Canadians hate the living (s)hit out of AMerikkkA: 1) "KANADA IS A FURD-WURLD KUNTRY!" If you really hate Amerikkkans, here's the best reason to begin with. Amerikkkans just can't stop (f)ucking talking. The second they open their mouths, crap flies. Or (s)hit. Or whatever what the hell you want to call it. When was the last time your didn't hear AMerikkkans spewing forth their sickly egotistical bull(s)hit, "We are the best nation." And what the hell? Canada being a third-world country? Am I missing something here? Amerikkka has a $1 trillion debt, yet you (a)ssholes have the unmitigated temerity to call Canada a third world country? Is there any logic behind your arguement AT ALL? I hope you guys have a better sense in how the economy works and use your brain for ONCE. But wait....wait a second...Amerikkans using their brains? WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? NEXT 2) "KANADA ADHERES 2 DA BRITISH MONARCHY! U.S. DUSNT!" If I didn't tell you this, you would probably be thinking this is some broken record. But in FACT, this is EXACTLY what Amerikkkans say. ALL THE TIME, Ahhhh!!! Not that British monrach "adhereance" (c)rap again! Here's one word to rebut that stupid claim: INCORRECT! The last time I checked, half of the Amerikkkans don't even know what their talking about. And the ones who DO understand their own history can't get the facts straight. "Kanada is part of BritaIN!!!" Bla bla bla. YAWWWWWWWWN. Canada DOES NOT adhere to the British monrach. In 1982, Canada P-A-T-R-I-A-T-E-D the constitution, meaning Canada is a FREE INDEPENDENT AUTONOMOUS REGION from Britain. Because many of you Amerikkan unedukated (f)uckers don't know what patriate means, it means bringing back something to a particular group of people. As well, I hope you (f)uckers take a look at your Amerikkan history textbook and find out what the 13 stripes mean. Technically speaking, Amerikkka is still a part of the British monrachy. Why? The 13 stripes stands for the 13 colonies that Britain ruled. Need another example of British adherance by the U.S.? Click here!([url= http://www.theodora.com/flags/state_flags/hi.gif) Find anything WRONG with Hawaii's flag? So much for a "republic." Your republic can kiss my ass for all that I care, just like you AMerikkkan pigs. And speaking of adherance to the British monrachy, if Canada adheres to the British monrachy, then what should we make of AUSTRALIA? Why is it that NOBODY makes a sound about AUSTRALIA EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A UNION JACK ON THEIR FLAG? If Canada was Britain's dog, then Australia is Britain's slave. But then again, Amerikkkans are so retarded, slow and jacked-up that, hell, they don't see anything but the shortcomings of Canada. So sad. Might as well call them the most appropriate term: (f)ucknuts. Go grab a history textbook or something of that sort. You know, I'm beginning to believe you Amerikkkans should go live in a hanger: the only place that can hold your ego. Due to the popularity of this point, Amerikkkans have been willing to express their rancour with the utmost STUPIDITY. This is an ACTUAL response by an Amerikkkan faggot PS (Website is: http://books.dreambook.com/nilability/canada.html) You and yours kneel before a foreign queen, and we here in the United States simply shake our heads and sigh....The 13 stripes on the US flag DO NOT REPRESENT THE 13 COLONIES. 3) "WE SHUD INVADE KANADA!..KANADA HAS NO ARMY!!!!" Ah yes, the military debate rears its ugly head YET AGAIN! Before I begin, take a look at how many times this statement has been regurgitated! Our Special forces!( http://www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada/canadianforces.html) We shud invade Kanada!!!! There's even a whole site dedicated to it! ( http://www.invadecanada.com.us) By conservative limp dick Jane Golderb "Bomb Canada!" A random idiot typed this! All you (f)uckingCanadian dumbass retards can burn in hell. You don't know s*** about s***. f***ing pussies, afraid of war. You were founded by the f***ing french. After trying once, we didn't even bother to try and get your sorryass country. It's a piece of s***, and all you can do is glide around on frozen water. Sounds f**gish to me. ( http://www.uselessjunk.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1753) What the hell? Let's see that again!! Our Special forces!( http://www.geocities.com/americaisbetterthancanada/canadianforces.html) We shud invade Kanada!!!! There's even a whole site dedicated to it! ( http://www.invadecanada.com.us) By conservative limp dick Jane Golderb "Bomb Canada!" A random idiot typed this! All you f***ing Canadian dumbass retards can burn in hell. You don't know s*** about s***. f***ing pussies, afraid of war. You were founded by the f***ing french. After trying once, we didn't even bother to try and get your sorryass country. It's a piece of s***, and all you can do is glide around on frozen water. Sounds f**gish to me. ( http://www.uselessjunk.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1753) What the hell? Why the hell do you need to mention how "weak"(laugh) Canada's army is four consecutive times? Am I missing something here? Do you Amerikkans know anything about a special term called D-I-P-L-O-M-A-C-Y? Yes DIPLOMACY. You see fools Amerikka would NEVER invade Canada. Why? Because we are "allies". And if Amerikkka was to invade Canada, half of them would run back to their mommies in Texas, since those (f)uckfaces would freeze to death. The other half would be mauled, shot, raped and killed by-who else?- the countries around the world. So the next time you (f)uckers hope to come up here, stock up on some blankets and heaters. We wouldn't want to see you guys freeze up into little cubicles now LMAO! 4) "KANADA IS A BARREN LAND!" Errr. If Canada was a barren land, why would you want to invade us? I don't get it...is this another episode of Amerikkkan education gone bad? 5) "KANADIAN MEN ARE PANSY'S AND (P)USSIES!!!!" Yeah you know Canadian men are such pussies and pansy's that half the Canada sucks sites are controlled or overrun by Canadians, including this one. I guess we are such pansies that we have to stand up with - 10 degree weather while you limp dicks enjoy the sun down their in retardville(California) or redneck central(Texas). How can we be "pussies" when, hell, you (s)hits can't even stand a temperature that dips below 0 or snow? Canadian men are pussies? Laughing my ass OFF! ZINC. 6) "KANADA HAS SNOW....AND IT'S GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF IT!" So do you. According to the weather network, Rochester gets MORE snow that Toronto, Ontario. Did you know THAT? Did you (f)uckers know that Chicago has SNOW? Did you know that NEW YORK, PENNSYLVANIA, BOSTON, WASHINGTON and MOST of the North Eastern States HAVE SNOW? Did you know snow kills wussie Amerikkans? LOL! 7) "KANADA'S MAIN EXPORT IS MAPLE SYRUP...AND ERR.....THAT'S IT! I HATE KANADA!" Zzzzzzzzz.ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. FYI, Canadian James Gosling invented the Java Script for the computer. Without him, the computer would not work you dumb asses. Second, Canada came up with the IDEA of peacekeeping, NOT AMERIKKKA.(Too bad, eh?) Third, Canada invented a medicine that helps combat diabetes. Fourth, we invented basketball. Oh yeah-and how could I forget?-we gave you (f)aggots Pamela Anderson. (B)itches. And that's only SOME of the myriad of inventions that Canada has contributed to. What has Amerikka contributed? Crap...s***...garbage.....Dubya...WAR....Peace("laugh. Dream on you dicks.")....corruption....greed(and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON) P.S. Canada's maple syrup would poison the eagle. Wouldn't that be great? 8) "KANADIAN PEOPLE ARE STOOPID!" WIth a nation of 68% who are fat, I guess Amerikkkans are real people who can use their brain.(laugh) What idiots,other than Amerikkkans, would argue that "Canada has nothing but ice" yet would want to "Invade us?" If the answer is "resources," then Canada has something MORE than ice, correct? And if Canada had nothing but ice, why does it house 33 MILLION PEOPLE? Can somebody explain that? Or somebody should take a look at this site right here: http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=31183&whichpage=1. The topic is titled "Canada SUX." Yes, sux with an X. As if MSN didn't take its fucking toll enough, Amerikkkans are now writing exactly how they would if they were in an MSN CHATROOM. And so much for stupid. In a recent survey done by the National Geography magazine, a full "66% of Amerikkkan kids could NOT pinpoint the North Pacfici Ocean, China or India." 66%? What the hell are Amerikkans teaching their students? Need another example of Amerikkkan stupidity? Watch Jay Leno's "JAYWALKING." it's guarenteed to make you laugh. Laugh at Amerikkans and their stupidity. Laughing at Amerikkkans. SAMPLE SCRIPT FROM JAYWALKING DURING AN INTERVIEW BETWEEN LENO AND A MARRIED COUPLE. Leno: "What two sides fought during the American Civil War?" WOMAN: "North and South?" Leno: "Well..there's a name for both of the sides. What are the sides called?" Man: "EAST AND SOUTH?" ANOTHER OCCASION Leno: "What is Mozart's first name?" Woman:"uhhh......" Leno: "I'll give you a hint. These wolves are in a gang...." Woman: "PACK?" Leno(laughing): "What? PACK MOZART?" 9) "KANADA HAS NO CULTURE. IT IS OWNED BY THE US!!!!!" (f)uck that. If Canada has not culture and is "owned,"by Amerikkka wouldn't Australia be as equally OWNED? Did you asses know that Australia's film industry was DESTROYED by you pathetic scumbags(espeically corporate Amerikkka.) And what about China? Did you (a)ssholes know that China film industry is littered with American films? Did you know that English people listen to American artists like Eminem and 50 Cent. Did you know that Russia has an MTV RUSSIA? (F)UCK DID YOU KNOW THAT CANADA HAS A (F)UCKING CULTURE? It's funny how you dicks say that Canada has no culture, yet you satarize our national symbols, such as the Polar Bear and the beaver. Clearly, that's what we call HYPOCRISY CORRECT? Yet again, another example of Amerikkan edukashun. 10) "KANADIANS ARE IDIOTS BECAUSE IF THEY WERE KANADIANS, THEIR COUNTRY SHOULD BE CALLED KANADIA?!!!!" Sorry to burst your bubble, but that arguement doesn't really work. If Canada should be renamed Canadia, then shouldn't Amerikkans be called United Statans? Or Unitans? Simply put, you guys are so lazy that you guys don't even bother using United States. Instead, you take the "short-cut" and save a few seconds by calling your maggots "Americans." How lazy can you (a)ssholes get? yes. For all you Amerikkan idiots out there, I am making fun of you because you are lazy. I mean LOOK AT YOUR NAME. IT'S CALLED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, not AMERICA. Besides, if Canada should be changed to Canadia, then shouldn't France's name be changed to Franca in order to be called Francans? Or China to Chinanans? (f)ucktarts. Get a life will you ? 11) "KANADA'S ECONOMY IS A SHAM!" Ours is NOT. Yours, on the other hand, is. With a staggering debt of $1 trillion dollars, I guess Amerikkkans are still paying for the war in Iraq! And you know what the best part is, besides paying your taxes and funding the war? You guys have to pay for your HEALTH CARE!! BAHAHAHAHHAHA I would just love to see what the health care mentality in the states is. "Sir, you have to pay 20% of your income to fund the war....uh.....10% to fund the national debt.....Oh yeah and by the way, because you are injured, will you please PAY WHILE WE TAKE CARE OF YOUR INJURY FOR YOU? yes, this country is so greedy that you must pay. Now PAY YOU BITCH ! PAY PAY PAY!" By the way, Amerikkkans-yes, this is ACTUAL FACT- pay MORE income taxes than Canadians. (a)ssholes To make a long story short, America was the world's empire. But then China comes in and steals American jobs because of cheap labour. America whines and whines, crying about their lost jobs(See Lou Dobbs). America then get's their (a)sses (f)ucked by terrorists and then, all the energy to balance their trade deficit is now spent on Iraq and Afghanistan. China steals more jobs, America cries some more, then India comes in and steals MORE American jobs. America cries some MORE and whines a hell of a lot MORE. And through it all, Americans are talking (s)hit about Canadians. TRYING TO FIND A LOGIC IN THIS?? ME TOO 12) "KANADA HAS A TOWN KALLED (D)ILDO!!!" Below are the very interesting names in the U.S. AND YES, THESE ARE ACTUALLY PLACES IN AMERIKKKA. ACCIDENT, MARYLAND ALPHABET CITY, NEW YORK ARAB, ALABAMA ASSAWOMEN, VIRGINIA BAD AXE, MICHIGAN BAGDAD, ARIZONA Big Ugly Wilderness Area, West Virginia, USA Boring, Oregon, USA Brazil, Indiana, USA 9 Hell, Michigan, USA AND IF YOU (F)UCKERS WERE WONDERING, YES THERE IS A PLACE NAMED AFTER CANADA. IT'S CALLED CANADIAN, TEXAS( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian%2C_Texas) 13) "AMERIKKA HAS BETA PLASES DAN KANADA BECUZ WE HAFA BETUR NAMES DAN DEM. LIK TORONTO AND VANKUFA IS SO GAI!!!!!!" It's interesting Amerikkkan say this. Afterall, this is from a country who's states and cities name' are practically comprised of the names of OTHER NATIONS. Ever heard of New York? Did you know that scummy city was named after York in England? Have you guys ever heard of New England, clearly named after England, of whom the UNITED STATES STILL TO THIS DAY STILL BOWS DOWN TO? Have you (a)sslicks ever heard of New Mexico, named after Mexico? Have you guys heard of St. Louis named after the French king of St. Louis? Have you guys hear of Louisianna, named after a French Prince? Did you guys know that their is a city called Toronto, Ohio named after Toronto? And LAST BUT NOT LEAST did you know that U.S.A. is a pretty (f)ucked up name? For you Amerikkkans out there, it stands for United States of (A)ssholes OR United Slobs of America, NOT UNITED STATES OF AMERIKKKA. 14) "KANADA'S NASHUNAL ANIMUALS R DA POLUR BEAR N DA BEEVER!!! DEY SUCK!!! AMERIKKKA'S ARE SOOOOO MUCH BETAAAA!!!!! LIKE DA EAGLE!!!" I hope that a neutered, pensive looking animal is NOT a reflection of the Amerikkkan society. The eagle is supposed to be representation of alacrity, but am I supposed to (f)ucking believe a Phil Specter look-alike is supposed to mean anything? Wow. It can kill (f)ucking animals. GREAT. No WAIT A SECOND. IT CAN'T KILL ANIMALS. It eats dead carcasses and left-overs. Fittingly enough, it is the PERFECT representation of WHAT Amerikkkans are: the left-overs of the world. The Amerikkkan eagle? Looks more like a true Amerikkan (a)sshole. 15) "KANADA HASA CWAPPY RECORD ON DA EENVIRONMENT!!!!" If Canada's environmental record was (s)hit, then I guess the U.S. is the king MINUS of all environmental products. Everything that America does or do turns the environment into UTTER CRAP. In FACT, "Americans have the highest per-capita consumption of resources and energy in the world. For instance, statistics show that the four percent of the world's population that live within the United States creates 25 percent of the world's carbon dioxide emissions, and allegedly overutilizes fuel-inefficient automobiles." See source here: ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-America#Criticism_of_US_environmental_policy) What's even MORE interesting is the fact that U.S. lawmakers unanimously voted 95-0 to quash the Kyoto Accord. And this is coming from a country that has the WORST environmental record in the (f)ucking world. I guess its just a matter of time before all the U.S. cities turn sickly yellow with a beige cloud of noxious, carbon-dioxide blanket hanging over it. Let's go through a checklist of how the U.S. has harmed the environment: Gas-guzzling cars (CHECK) Exxon-Mobil Oil spill of 1989 (CHECK) The Kyoto Accord (CHECK) The near- extinction of myriads of animals, including the bald eagle (CHECK) Highest green-house gas emissions (CHECK) 15) "KANADA HASA NO FWIENDS INTERNATIONALLY!!!!" Not only are you guys the king minus of the environment, but now you guys are the king minus of idiocy. Of all these points, this is perhaps the most stupidest one. Canada has no friends internationally? I will give you Amerikkkans credit for putting a spin of certain things, but THIS? How the hell can you claim that Canada has no allies when, hell, Amerikkka is hated throughout the world? Are you (f)aggots so blinded by your jingosim and patriotism that you inanely assume your northern neighbour has no friends, when in FACT, Canada is among the world's most ACTIVE peacekeeping nations? If Canada had no friends, then I hate to see Amerikkka's. England? NOPE. France? NAH. Germany? In your (f)ucking dreams. The Middle East? They tried to kill you (a)ssholes. Ocenania? NAH. Asia? Once they are powerful enough, they are going to kick your (a)sses. Mexico? Yeah okay. South America? Sure(laugh). NOrth Korea and Iran? Those guys are on the verge of nuking the living crap out of you (s)hitheads. 16) "DA KANADIAN FLAGA ISA SOOOO GAY!!! STARS NA STRIPES R BETA!!!" The only way why people would think the stars and stripes is better than ANY flag is if they are probably on metamorphines or marijuana (like most Amerikkkans). Other than that, most people would agree that the Amerikkkan flag looks like Charmin's newest line of toilet paper on to which people would wipe their asses with. The person that create the Amerikkkan flag has got to be the biggest f***ing idiot. A star representing each STATE? What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway? Oh no. It's supposed to represent this. "White signifies purity and innocence. Red hardiness and valour and Blue the colour of the Chief signifies vigilance perseverance and justice." ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_flag) Yeah. Sure(laugh) Strictly for the f***ing birds. Amerikkka is pure? NOPE. Sorry, but that was negated by years of pornography. Valour? NAH. You guys forfeited that right throughout most of the wars you f***ing lost. Perseverance? Just ask the 67% of those fat, obese Amerikkkans who do nothing but eat cheetoes and watch an episode of Jerry Springer. Stars and Stripes? Should be guns and drugs. 17) "KANADA DID NOT INVENT ANYFING AND DEY HAFA NO COMPANIES!!!!! DA USA ISA DA BESTEST!!!!" 5-Pin Bowling ( http://inventors.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.cvnet.net/burnstd/history.htm) The Baseball Glove ( http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blbaseball.htm) Basketball ( http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blbasketball.htm) The Golf Ball ( http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blgolf.htm) Ice Hockey ( http://inventors.about.com/od/istartinventions/a/Ice_Hockey.htm) Able Walker ...the walker was patented by Norm Rolston in 1986 Access Bar ...patented food bar designed to help burn fat by Dr Larry Wang Air-Conditioned Railway Coach ...invented by Henry Ruttan in 1858 Abdominizer ...the infomercial exercise darling invented by Dennis Colonello in 1984 Anti-Gravity Suit ...invented by Wilbur Rounding Franks in 1941, a suit for high altitude jet pilots AND MUCH, MUCH MORE http://inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aa090100a.htm LIST OF CANADIAN BUSINESSES http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Canadian_companies As you can see, The list of Canadian companies DWARFS the list of Australian companies ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Australian_companies), Britain ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_companies), France ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_French_companies) and Germany ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_German_companies). NOT TOO SHABBY, EH? 18)"KANADIAN SPORTS SUCK ARSE!!! USA BETA!!!" Before we begin, take a look at this site. http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/3742526?GT1=6667 Below, you will see a picture of a guy BELLYFLOPPING on MUD. What's even funnier is what the sport is actually called: "Redneck Games!" Redneck Games? Hahaha. That's a real fucking keeper. And you thought that rednecks was just a term used to derogate! Now, it's a term used to describe a SPORT. Speaking of sports, let's see what other sports Amerikkka invented, shall we? Basketball (NOPE) Ice hockey (NAH. The popular statement is: The British invented it. If the British invented it, then neither did the Amerikkkans.) Football (You Amerikkkans are such fucking fools. you faggots NEVER cease to amaze me. The term football was actual English for "soccer." Since when did stealing another sports name becoming an actual SPORT?) Baseball (Although it IS an Amerikkkan sport, it was a Canadian who invented the baseball glove. So are you going to tell me that a game of "perfect" baseball can be executed without the use of the baseball glove? Fucktartds!) 19) "KANADA CANA NOTA KEPA IZ CUNTRY 2GEDA!!!!" Remember the last time when you saw something, but in fact it really wasn't there? Well this point evokes that scary deja-vu feeling. Although this time, Amerikkkans actually take this point SERIOUSLY! I guess you brainwashed dumb asses are so fed with Amerikkkan, neo-nazi propaganda that you guys forgot that the U.S. went to WAR with each other, called the CIVIL WAR. Here let me help you fucks out: The Civil War was an issue fought between AMERIKKKANS: the NORTH AND THE SOUTH, where hundreads of thousands of people DIED. Over the issue of SLAVERY. Here take a LOOK: ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Civil_War) Oops. Sorry. I think I revealed one of Amerikkka's DIRTEST secrets. "Yes. We Amerikkkans must kill each other because of slavery." Hey the next time you fucks go to war, you guys should tell us how to kill each other more efficiently: that way, we might learn from you guys!! 20) "Amerikkka HASA MORE OPPORTUNITIES AND IMMIGRANTS DAN CANADA?!!!" Yeah you know, I fucking country that got bombed to hell since 9/11 wouldn't be the ideal place for people to immigrate to. It's either I'm fucked in the head or people are taking drugs. Who in the right fucking might would want to live in the asscrack of the universe. In FACT, for all you fucking jingoistic Amerikkkans out there, India and China are catching up to the U.S., which means that in the next 10 years Amerikkka will become the fourth-class country it has and will ALWAYS BE. Now for immigration diversity, I want everybody to take a look at this ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Census-2000-Data-Top-US-Ancestries.jpg) According to the 2000 census map, it shows the following statistics: 15.2% German (42.8 million), 10.8% Irish(30.5 million), 8.8% African Amerikkkan (24.9 million), 8.7% English (24.5 million), 7.2% Amerikkkan (20.2 million), and 6.5% Mexican (18.4 million). For the minorities, there are 18.4 million italians,7.9 million Indian and 8.3 French. Compare those figures to THIS ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_2001_Census#Canada_by_the_numbers): The 2001 Canadian census shows that 6 million Canadians are English, 5 million are french, 4 million are Scottish, 4 million are Irish, followed by 3 million German, 1.1 million Chinese, and 2 million Indian. If these figures were adjusted to the U.S. population (9X), the new ADJUSTED figures would be THIS: 54 million English, 45 million French, 36 million Scottish, 36 million Scottish, 27 million Germans, 9.9 million Chinese and 18 million Indians. In terms of diversity figures, Canada kicks Amerikkka's ASS. By one account, the actual number of annual legal immigrants was estimated at 500,000 to 600,000 in 1989, subsequently increased and is now well over 1 million, not including illegal migration or temporary work visas.)(" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immigration_to_the_United_States") In 2004, the TOTAL immigration was ONLY 150,000. That's a 25% DROP in net immigration. As well, there is always rumours that Mexicans love Amerikkka. The usual arguments goes if so many people hate Amerikkka, then why do people die trying to cross to Amerikkka. Well, Mexicans DON'T. In FACT, the only reason why Mexicans would immigrate to Amerikkka is because it's the closest democratic nation to it. If you swapped the word Amerikka with the UK, Australia, France, Germany, Italy or Canada, the Mexicans would immigrate, legally or illegally nonetheless. The reason for the huge influx of Mexican immigration is not because Amerikkka is the beacon of prosperity, but more because of its propinquity WITH Mexico. If Mexico was just 30% developed as Amerikka, Mexicans would go back to their homeland rather than to live in a SHIT place like Amerikkka. 21) "CANADA IS WACIST!" Possible non-racist Amerikkan sites include: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Hills/8908/rframe.htm http://www.planetpapers.com/Assets/3874.php http://www.ericdigests.org/pre-9215/racism.htm http://www.osjspm.org/racism_resources.htm http://www.schoolshistory.org.uk/america/racism.htm http://bv.channel.aol.com/newsmain/sports/spears/20050111 http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=1305 http://channelone.com/news/exchange/opinions/2004/06/24/se_racism/ http://www.isreview.org/issues/32/racism.shtml 21) "KANADA'S NASHUNAL ANFEM IS SO GAI!!!! DA USA NASHUNAL ANFEM IS SOOOOO MUCH BETTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A national anthem that talks about useless bombs dropping overhead and a war-mongering nation that bases its national anthem on a stupid, worthless fight against the British isn't even a national anthem. IN FACT, it sounds more like a commercial or a (f)ucking annoying 10 year old girl ranting about how proud she is fighting an army. Wow, so you guys fought and defended Fort McHenry(like anybody gives a flying (f)uck). Some guys died, but you still fought the British invasion. Boo Hoo, cry me a damn river. Now I've made some proposals myself about how the Amerikkkan national anthem should be sung. Here, take a look. Oh, say can you pee by the dawn's early death What so proudly we got, a-a goddamn heart attack? Who brought guns and burgers through the perilous loss? O'er the humvees we died, were so gallantly we were beheaded. And the rocket's red glare, went into our (a)nus! Gave proof through the night that Allah was our god. Oh for the land of the (b)astarrrrrrrrrds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the home, of theeeeeeeeeee, (G)AY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a result, because your national anthem is too scummy and stupid, THIS will be your adopted and NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM. O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, We stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Suck that (b)itches. If you have any concerns, please e-mail me at  FUCKAMERICA@hotmail.com. USA IS BULLSHIT> finally, a suit that really fits... 27.09.2007 - 12:44 President Bush was quoted at the time of his arrest as saying, "IS U, or IS U AIN'T my constitch'unts?!" joe> e-mail:: jbodden6977@hughes.net
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